There will be no formal question this time. You see I have this thing that came up, its embarrassing really. I got into an internet fight.
(And you thought fist fights between Trekies and Star Wars Fan Boys were sad? Check out an internet throw down between two fitness "professionals" over meaningless semantics.)
It's actually my fault really since I started the whole thing. What happened was last night I was in a fat/sugar induced stupor after having my "cheat" meal (Man I hate that word). It was awesome! On the menu this week was Pancakes and Fried Chicken:
(This is an actual photo of the fried chicken and pancakes I ate last night. This meal also goes well with Waffles and is a soul food favorite. I find my love for it strange since I have no soul nor any rhythm for that matter. There is something about these two flavors coming together that is breathtaking. On a personal note this meal was so tasty I almost ate the human hand that accidentally made it into the picture.)
Where was I again? Oh yeah, the internet fight. So last night a trainer who I don't know posted a question for public consumption. He basically asked what is the single most important exercise for activities of daily living.
Now I am pretty moody for a man. Load me up with butter, syrup and a blend of secret herbs and spices and that along with my "Oprah Like" inclinations spells potential disaster. My answer was pretty simple:
I think it is a dumb question. I didn't say so in that many words but since the cat is out of the bag let me say that is really how I feel. Questions like these can be considered fine for intellectual ping pong as they tend to force people to prioritize their exercise selection more toward the multiple muscle group/highly functionally demanding movements. In reality they are misleading and run counter productive to successful long term program design. Here is why:
(God help all of us because this giant douche is about to get up on his soap box.)
1. Who in their right mind designs an exercise routine with only one exercise in it? If your client is consistently faced with the dilemma of having the time to do only one exercise you are better off telling them to spend their hard earned dough on a time management course in order to get their priorities straight.
(One exercise only please! I have to watch back to back to back episodes of Family Guy on TBS tonight!)
2. Activities of daily living take place over multiple planes of movement using many different muscles groups in many different and sometimes conflicting order. The idea that one exercise could cover Pushing, Pulling, Twisting, Bending, Squatting and Lunging while at the same time emphasizing different levels of balance, power and agility and improving both dynamic and stabilization qualities over multiple force vectors is pretty much insane. Even the folks over at Swiss Army Knife couldn't figure that one out. Now I know there are those of you out there who feel they don't need a lecture from me on daily life taking place over multiple blah blab blah, but if you really understood this concept then my question is how could you even entertain the whole single best exercise concept to begin with? To paraphrase Mike Boyle you would find it as worth while as arguing who would win in a fight between Thor and the Incredible Hulk (or something to that effect).
(For you ladies out there here is a gratuitous Mike Boyle shot.)
3. Focusing on the importance of exercises is pretty much worthless unless it is done so in the context of the person and the program it is being used for. So next time somebody starts telling you bench presses are overrated compared to the more functional single arm standing chest press, whole body routines are great and split routines are ONLY for roided up bodybuilders or my favorite "You should never do lat pulldowns, you should only do chin ups instead" just turn your back and run away. Any exercise, and that includes this whole insane front versus back squat nonsense, can be extremely valuable or extremely stupid depending upon so many variables not limited to the number of people you are working with at that time (multiple versus single), the persons specific strengths and weaknesses relative to the goal they are working towards, equipment and resource availability etc. You could go on and on with this stuff because unless you understand the specific situation the specific coach is in who said whatever it is he said, arguing about specific exercises being better/worse or safe/unsafe is just a giant waste of time.
IN CONCLUSION
I want to apologize to the dude I insulted last night. I know you said it feels like I slapped you across the face which in my warped mind equates to me being Rick James and you being Charlie Murphy:
(What else can I say that this photo doesn't. Granted it is from the wrong part of the skit but it is funny nonetheless. On a personal note, much like my buddy Dan Fiorica, I hope David Chapelle runs out of money soon because things just aren't the same without him.)
But since Rick James eventually gets his butt kicked by Charlie Murphy at the end of the story please note that apparent emotional meltdown was meant as nothing personal towards you.
Oh yeah, to answer your other question, guy from last night, for a long time I did indeed write fitness magazines often telling them how stupid I thought their columns were. I mean how many lists of "top ten healthiest foods for <blank> do we need"? And how come every time they make one of those lists, regardless of the disease or goal in question, every food is either a lean protein, fruit or vegetable?
The reason why I stopped is because just like the question you asked the answer never had anything to do with the real world of fitness. Magazines are in business to do one thing and that is sell advertising. God forbid some useful fitness information gets in there then so be it. Every time you see one of those worthless questions like "What is the most overrated exercise out there" understand that nobody could possibly think that matters especially in a nation where thirty percent of the population is overweight (thirty percent of the population being overweight = no such thing as an overrated exercise). The main focus is to draw your attention in long enough to see the 500th Gregg Plitt adverstisement.
(To all you ladies out there if Mike Boyle wasn't enough than here is some more eye candy for you. What I never understood was the Met Rx ads talk about how he works out several hours a day but the Bowflex ad says three times a week for thirty minutes. None of them seem to mention he is a former army ranger, wrestling champion or that he has been working out for 30 years with superior genetics, work ethic and drive and as such none of the products he sells has a snowballs chance in hell of ever making you look like him. Damn this industry is screwed up.)
Hopefully that covers it. Now I am tired and badly in need of a nap. Plus one of my dogs is crying because for some unknown reason the other dog is running laps around the house. That means I have to go.
Till the next internet throw down,
Yours in Chocolate Chip Cookies,
Mike Cruickshank
(If you have ever wondered just how out of control Frankie and Lily can get just know that while I sleep Frankie sometimes mulls over the idea of eating me.)
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