Hey Stupid! (Authors Note: I assume the sender of this email is referring to me)
You think your so smart? Well my trainer is the "Abs Expert". It's true! He told me, and I quote "There is a specific class of vegetables that contain very unique phytonutrients that actually help fight against stubborn belly fat".
Bet you didn't know that Smart Guy!
Signed (The sender of this email actually signed his closing "Why don't you go get bent")
The Truth
Dear Truth,
To answer your question, No, I did not know there is a specific class of vegetables that contain very unique phytonutrients that actually help fight against stubborn belly fat. Then again I didn't even know that there was such a thing as belly fat so it goes to show how much I get out of the house.
I was always under the impression that Spot Reduction i.e. the ability to burn fat from specific areas of the body for no other reason other than it upsets you, was impossible.
But maybe you have a point. I mean now that I think about it I have a hard time believing that the fat between your ears is the same as the fat around this guys waist.
Then again I often like to deal in metaphors so touche.
(All kidding aside you have to admire the guys positive thinking. It's like my buddy Dr. Jerry Novack says "If you go out hunting for Moby Dick be sure to bring the tartar sauce". I never had the heart to tell Jerry that most whales are endangered. Maybe one day I will invite him over for a nice Sea Food Dinner and we can watch Star Trek IV about a dozen times.)
(Sorry for two pictures in a row but sometimes my references are so obscure even I have a hard time understanding them. Star Trek IV was the movie where Captain Kirk and Crew had to go back in time in order to bring back a Humpback Whale. The goal was to save the Earth from a killer Space Probe. Crappy plot line for sure but it actually was a pretty good movie.)
But getting back to your initial statement with the whole "Miracle Vegetable" nonsense. I think your "King of Abs" is getting something confused.
What I believe he is referring to are Cruciferous Vegetables, things like Broccolli, Cauliflower, Kale, Cabbage etc. and their supposed ability to counteract estrogenic compounds in the body. Those estrogenic compounds, also known as Phthalates, reportedly can have numerous negative effects on the body not limited to low sperm count, possible cancer implications, testicular atrophy (yuk!) and specifically what you are referencing to, unexplained muscle loss and fat gain with the fat gain most notably in the abdominal and upper back area.
Estrogenic compounds can be found both naturally as well as those injested from the environment from possible sources such as household cleaners, "toxins" caused by industrial pollution, use of certain types of plastic etc. It actually is some really interesting stuff it's just when people start trying to use it to explain complex subjects such as the cause of Cancer and Obesity things begin to get a little murky. And when I say murky what I mean is some really heavy conspiracy theory stuff misplaced in its application to modern nutrition and disease.
(Something tells me "Mr. Paranoid" got fat from eating too many doughnuts. Not from Tilex. I just feel bad for the poor friggin cat. On a personal note; if you are obese know that ungroomed facial hair just makes you look more fat and sloppy.)
Now before I recieve an all out assault from the Naturopathic "take my pills which I naturally gain commission on" population in reference to my poo pooing all over their environmental estrogen theory let me say this:
What this issue comes down to isn't vegetables or bad 1980's movie references. What it comes down to is are your Testosterone Levels low, what is causing them to be low (is it from high levels of estrogen environmental or otherwise) and if your testosterone is low what possible effects could that be having on your overall health and well being.
When it comes to Testosterone and it's implications to your health and well being please take the following three points under advisement, and I don't mean like Hanz did from Die Hard because he really was a Jerkweed:
1. If you believe you have low testosterone you need to GO SEE A FREAKING MEDICAL DOCTOR and not some guy who sells pills out of the back of a truck. Have your testosterone levels checked. Here is some more in depth information on that.
http://men.webmd.com/testosterone-15738
This subject of testing for Testosterone is very complex, far beyond the scope of this blog post so make sure to go over your results in detail with your Doctor once you have the test done.
2. Having Low Testosterone is serious business when it comes to your health and well being. It is not fodder for the "I wish I had a boner 24 hours a day" crowd so I urge you to take this subject seriously if you feel it is an issue for you. What I do not urge you to do is try to solve the problem yourself speficifically on the basis of "Dude Science" and their "mutiple cool tricks" like taking dubious supplements, eating 3lbs of broccoli every day and throwing out all your Lysol.
Why? For one it won't work. And secondly even if it did having ripped abs and the libido of a sixteen year old boy isn't going to do you much good if you are broke from buying pills, are farting all the time (Hello Broccolli!) and have to have your legs amputated because of a Staph infection (Goodbye Lysol!).
(Don't say I didn't warn you. This is what could happen if you try to battle low testosterone with vegetables. Just one more example of somebody who should be reading my blog.)
3. The proper level of testosterone varies tremendously from person to person based on an incredible amount of variables (age, genetics, symptoms etc.) and is often one of the most abused statistics out there. As stated in point number two with the whole erection reference make sure these are real symptoms you are experiencing and not some alpha male "I have a small penis and I want everybody to know it" symptoms.
(Such a shame. These guys are "only" 270lbs and ripped. Anything short of 300lbs pounds of ripped muscle must indicate low "T" levels. These guys need to see a doctor STAT! If you thing that sounds ridiculous know that this whole testosterone level stuff can get really out of control really fast.)
I would do a conclusion but I think I made my point. Low Testosterone is a serious subject and therefore requires serious action which does not include taking advice you got out of best selling e-book. The symptoms often include things like serious impairments to daily living, Osteoporosis (yes Men get it too), difficulty conceiving a child, incredible lack of energy and zest for life not different from those experienced with mild to moderate forms of depression etc.
Hopefully this blog post has convinced you of the need to take your hormonal issues to the proper sources for help.
Till next time, yours in chocolate chip cookies,
Mike Cruickshank
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