Hey Shank! What do you think of Miller 64?

(Beer, making boring people more interesting since 5,000 B.C.)

Hey Shank,

What about Miller 64?  Will it help me drop some pounds?

I am so fat that all my pants have elastic waistbands.

Signed,

Norm

(Does anybody else out there remember when he used to advertise Meister Brau?  Meister Brau, It only tastes expensive.)

Good Afternoon Mr. Peterson,

I wish I could give you the answer you want.  I know people really like to hear that their sins are good for them.

But people drink beer to get drunk, not to lose weight.

So to answer your question, no, Miller 64 will not help you lose weight.

Hope that helps.

Yours in Chocolate Chip Cookies (Usually after I have had a few Bud Lights)

Mike Cruickshank

(The only way to lose weight permanently is to exercise regularly and eat a diet consisting mainly of nutrient dense foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats and portion controlled carbohydrates…blah, blah, blah.  I know that isn’t what anybody wants to hear but it’s still true.)

(Oh Yeah, one more thing.  No matter how much Miller 64 you drink, I can guarantee that this girl will still never talk to you.  I know that is something none of you guys want to hear, but it too is still true.)