Question:
Hey Mike, what do you think about the P90X program.
Answer:
When I was in college I knew this really cool dude named Vinnie. He was a really good football player and even more so, a hell of a nice guy. One year he and a bunch of his friends had a Christmas Party, kind of like the animal house toga party minus the togas.
Before things got out of control, leading to a wrestling match between two linemen that resulted in the decimation of a Christmas tree, this was a pretty classy affair. At least when considering the parties involved.
You know, a real level of sophistication like dudes wearing sweaters and stuff. One of my favorite memories though was the food. Everybody was responsible for bringing something. Me, Dan, and Strano brought a ham.
Vinnie’s mom made this pepperoni bread that later came to be known as the mute button. It was called the mute button because once it hit the table it turned an odd collection of about 20 football players and wrestlers into a bunch of mutes. Yes, the pepperoni bread was that damn good.
What does this got to do with P90X? The people over at Beach Body (the "parents" of P90X) claim that over 20 million people have bought their program. I think I have met about half of them.
Now have I really met 10 million people who have used the P90X program? No, But it feels that way. You see any time you meet a "believer" in anything, having a conversation with them about that thing is like taking a mental kick to the nuts. Many people don't know this but the word believer has its origins from the Latin root word "believerte" which roughly translated means "annoying bastard".
Now those P90X "believerte" are generally nice people but they all seem share the same characteristic, maybe with the exception of one or two people. For the first few weeks before and the first few weeks after they start the program they can't seem to shut up about it. All means of communication are fair game; phone calls, emails, Facebook posts, one on one conversation, and god knows what else. I think if they could figure out how to do those cool flag signals like we were supposed to learn in boy scouts, they would tell you how awesome P90X is via what has to be the most annoying nonverbal communication system ever invented.
"I'm a driver, I'm a winner, things are going to change I can feel it". Yep, this time things are going to be different because I got P90X, Tony Horton and the entire Beach Body community on my side. Incidentally that line in quotations is from the Beck song titled "Loser".
But then, all of a sudden, nothing. Not a peep. It's like one day P90X just doesn't exist anymore. In fact, if it weren't for those commercials that are on seemingly every hour of the day (or at least every hour past midnight) you might be led to believe that Tony Horton and crew packed their bags and left town until the next project came up.
No posts about how hard they are working or how "killer" the workouts are. Just silence. Like somebody hit the mute button. But not just any mute button. It's would be like if somebody kidnapped Vinnie’s mom, took her to a deserted volcanic island in the middle of nowhere and forced her at gun point to make the largest pepperoni roll every made and then they took that pepperoni roll via helicopter and dropped it into the collective guts of every person who talked crap about "doing" P90X thereby rendering them into a carb and fat laced coma. It would be like that kind of mute button.
Now you might ask how this is to be explained. My personal trainer Scott Abel, who is a pretty smart and positive guy, would tell you it is a classic case of the "honeymoon effect" of exercise. This is where somebody is all motivated out of the gate to start a new workout program only to quit when the reality of fitness as a "lifestyle" kicks in. If you have a hard time wrapping your brain around that concept think about the difference between the bliss of falling in love and getting engaged versus the reality of being married to the same person every day for years on end and all the work and sacrifice it takes to make something like that work. Think about the sacrifice and budgeting it takes to retire with dignity versus the romantic concept of "hitting it big". Or the cute concept of having a puppy versus the reality of vet bills, cleaning up poop both inside and outside the house, training and taking the responsibility of taking care of another living being for at least the next decade (I guess the same can be said for having children too).
When it comes to P90X and all of the other infomercial programs that came before it the issue has never been whether the programs work or not. If you do anything with enough intensity, for a long enough period of time without killing yourself and you combine that with the right diet (no Tony it isn't just all about the workout) than any program technically "works". But that is just it, you actually have to do the program and you have to do it for the rest of your life because unlike carving a statue out of marble which will stand the test of time, the second you stop working on your beach body creation it will all turn to crap.
In closing, I would ask you to rethink the P90X thing like this. "Do I have more of a need for free space or for dry laundry?”
The advantage of the P90X program isn't muscle confusion or some other hype. Once you get past the dumbbells, the bands, the mat and the other "optional" supplements that they recommend you buy, all P90X is are a bunch of DVD's and a couple manuals. The cool thing about that is when you eventually quit and stop doing it the program won't take up much space. You can put it right on your bookshelf next to Gunnar Petersons Abs Secrets, Abs of Steel, Buns of Steel, The Firm Volumes 2 thru 50 (the firm volume 1 with Janet Jones Gretzky is fantastic cinema and is purposely left off this list), 6 minute absm tae bo (late edit/I forgot about this one, thanks Linda Cherry!) and any of that crap that Jillian Michaels is shilling out these days.
The disadvantage of P90X is that you can't hang wet laundry off it like you could with the solo flex, bow flex, body by Jake take your pick of the body part of yours that makes you hate yourself machine, and the tower 3000.
So, if you have a need for more space then go P90X. If you have a need to dry laundry then go with one of the other fantastic options listed above.
But then again, what the hell to I know. I say fiddlesticks with both of them. I'm going to stick with Vinnie’s mom's pepperoni bread.
Yours in Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Mike Cruickshank
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