Hey Shank!
I am committed to building the body of my dreams! I hired a trainer named Franz. He is the 1978 Mr. Five Counties Bodybuilding Champion (sponsored by Banana Hammock Posing Trunks). He told me the key to getting ripped “Old School Style” is not to eat after 8 p.m., especially Carbs. After putting on an impressive display of poses emphasizing his incredible symmetry, Franz said that if I take his advice the fat will literally fall off my body!
What do you think?
(Sometimes “Old School” methods should be sent to the retirement village where they belong)
Signed,
Desperate to have Chicks like me.
Dear Desperate,
Congratulations on making a positive decision to change your body! I wish you the best of luck but your trainer Franz is insane.
The “Old School” belief that you will lose more weight if you don’t eat late at night is based on ideas ranging from it somehow interfering with your sleep to your body processes calories differently later in the day and therefore is more likely to store them as fat.
Basically the entire concept rides on either end of the “makes no sense” teeter totter.
(I really wish I could un-see this)
Sure, people who don’t eat later at night will lose weight but it has nothing to do with the “Dude Science” the concept is based on. In my experience what happens in the long run is strategies like these always backfire, resulting in people gaining back the weight they lost and then some. I know some bodybuilders who use this as a “technique” but they only do it for a short period of time and only for as long as their biofeedback dictates.
The advantage of not eating late at night is that you are simply not eating. You eat less, you weigh less. When it comes to the first point, that somehow calories you consume at night are more likely turn to fat, know that the average person doesn’t process calories any different at night versus the day any more than they processes calories different on Monday versus how they do on Tuesday. In fact, and this might be Modern Nutrition Heresy, for regular people (you know those people who account for 80% of the population) the entire concept of nutrient timing has absolutely no practical value, but that is a subject for another blog.
When it comes to the second point, the possible sleep issues, I can tell you two things for sure when it comes to copping some Z’s. Most people I know tend to sleep better at night when:
1. They aren’t pissed off and stressed out.
2. They have a little food in their stomaches, especially carbohydrates.
(Frankie and Lily sleep well at night because they don’t have jobs and they get their tummy’s rubbed everyday. It has nothing to do with not eating at night.)
Now in Franz’s defense (Those huge Pecs of his didn’t come from nowhere) eating late at night can be dangerous when it comes to weight loss simply because most people don’t eat enough during the day (especially the “air sandwich” they have for breakfast). By nightfall they are starving. Think about it. If your body needs 1500 calories per day to function and you only give it 250, eventually you are going to have a problem. You are going to be hungry. Combine this along with the fact there are only so many Seinfeld Re-runs you can watch after a long day at work and you wind up with one bored and hungry person.
Hunger along with boredom is not good. It always results in overeating. In fact if I was trying to build the perfect fat guy like Wyatt and Gary built the perfect hot chick in in Weird Science, the first two ingredients I would add in would be hunger and boredom.
(If there is one thing he knows, it’s female stats. Anything more than a handful you are risking a sprained wrist.)
So what to do? First off eat your breakfast! In English that means a lean protein with a little bit of healthy fat (i.e. whole eggs or egg whites with a little cheese, steak, lean turkey sausage or protein powder and some fish oil etc.) and a wholesome carbohydrate (real whole grain bread, oatmeal, fiber rich cereals etc.) If you can get a vegetable source like onions, peppers or spinach in there then more power to you. Or if you want to replace the starchy carbohydrates with a couple pieces of fruit because you find you body handles them better then knock yourself out.
Next make sure you eat a dinner with some real muscle to it and that doesn’t mean the over marketed crap you pick up at your local fast food joint:
(Soak up the reality people. Their marketing is so good they could put a piece of your poop between those buns and make it look good.)
Dinner means a lean protein (properly prepared fish, beef, chicken, pork etc.), a portion controlled serving of carbohydrates, and a vegetable (no, ketchup does not count as a vegetable).
If late at night you are still hungry then eat dammit! Just not an entire tube of Pillsbury Cookie Dough. Try some protein in the form of a shake with added fiber, a couple scrambled eggs or small portion of tuna and if need be some fruit like an apple, pear, orange or some other reasonably sized carbohydrate source.
Then move on with your life! Stop living in the past and focus on what you need to do today to make yourself healthier, stronger and more fit.
Hope that helps.
Yours in chocolate chip cookies,
Mike Cruickshank
(Damn those look good. Too bad psycho cookie boy is going to come from the shadows and tear his doughy ass apart.)
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