Fat Burners and an Interview with Myself

Here is an exciting interview I just recently had with….Myself.

Clear Path to Fitness:  Hey Mike!  Have you heard about this new “fat burning, metabolism boosting, energy enhancing weight loss solution” that we have all been waiting for?

(Jesus, that’s a big bottle)

Myself: No, sorry I missed that one.  I was too busy having lunch with the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and a consistently thin Kirsty Allie.  We were having one pound burgers at the Fudruckers over in Imagination Land.

CPTF:  Wow.  You are a sarcastic S.O.B. aren’t you?

Myself:  Yeah, sorry about that.  It’s just hard not to be an angry douche sometimes with all that is going on in the fitness industry.

CPTF:  What do you mean my bitter bulky friend?

Myself:  You have to understand that I have dedicated my life to giving people honest advice when it comes to losing weight and getting in shape.  That takes thousands of hours of study and hard work.  Consequently it is kind of hard to see Registered Dieticians, Doctors, Certified Nutritionists and Trainers, all of whom should know better, make big bucks by telling sad, frustrated, sometimes lazy but always overweight people that the missing link to their weight loss problems comes in a bottle.

CPTF:  But is says right there on the bottle that the product is only for use with a proper exercise and nutrition program.

Myself:  That’s nice.  But its a lot like Tommy Boy said in the movie”Tommy Boy”:

I could put a piece of Shit in a Box and mark it guaranteed but all you are going to have is a guaranteed piece of shit.

(Yeah, I know he had a bit of a “weight problem” but he also had cat like reflexes and that has to count for something)

CPTF:  So you mean to say that just because they put it on the bottle doesn’t mean people will actually understand  the truth.  The truth that in order for those pills to do anything a person already has to be and stay on for the rest of their lives a consistent and sometimes difficult and constrictive exercise and eating plan.  Without that consistent plan those pills will probably do less than dick and that the consistent eating and workout plan alone would help them reach most of their goals whether they took those piece of crap pills or not.  

Myself:  Exactly.  Let me put it this way.  Are you overweight?

CPTF:  Hell no!

Myself:  O.K. Cochise.  Calm down  over there.  Let me put it another way then.  Do you know anybody who is overweight and if you do what are their primary problems?

CPTF:  Well, people are little snowflakes, all different in their own way with different needs, abilities and….

Myself:  Hey Clear Path to Fitness!  Cut the bullshit and answer the question honestly.  Great, you are making me do the interviewing now.

CPTF:  Dude, calm down you melon sized cranium washed up meat head.  I was getting to it.

Myself:  Sorry, please continue.

CPTF:  What I was trying to say after the whole Oprah like snowflake comment is that people who are overweight tend to do certain things.  For one they tend to have unrealistic expectations on what kind of results they can actually get out of workout and diet routine.  They don’t take into account their genetics nor the incredible amount of hard work it takes to try and turn a Chihuahua into a Pitubull (If that is even possible).

(Yes, they like to chew on their Nylabones.  But those big beautiful heads are more a result of their Bully Heads than anything else)

Myself:  What else

CPTF:  Overweight people also tend to be really dishonest with themselves in that statistically it has been proven that the more overweight you are the more you tend to over estimate your exercise output and under estimate you caloric intake.

Myself: Wow, that is pretty interesting.  I did not know that.  Anything else?

CPTF:  No, that is about it for right now.

Myself:  O.K.  Let me ask you this then.  Have you ever known of an overweight person who got that way, who got really FAT, by eating pills?

CPTF:  No, that’s silly.

Myself:  Of course it is.  But here is the truth.  The golden nugget, take away fact that will instantly help you lose more weight starting right here, right now, the morning the first day of 2012:

YOU DIDN’T GET FAT EATING PILLS SO YOU AREN’T GOING TO GET THIN EATING PILLS EITHER.

(I am sure she wouldn’t be eating that cake if she knew how many pills are up inside of it.  Those pills man, they will kill ya.)

CPTF:  Crap, that’s a pretty bold statement.  So you are telling us those pills don’t only not “work” but they might also lead people away from addressing the real causes that got them into the situation they are in, in the first place?

Myself:  Somewhat.  Fat Burning Pills “work” in so much that they jazz you up and help your body mobilize fat from within the cells.   The only problem is if you are not already working out very rigorously (which takes many years to actually be able to do beyond a perceived amount of intensity a.k.a I think I work hard ) and eating a very strict diet you will never mobilize enough of that fat to make any difference outside of lightening your wallet.

CPTF:  So what you are saying is that fat burning pills can help the lean version of the one percent get a little leaner but will probably do little for a person who hasn’t got the basics covered and has done so for several years?

Myself:  Pretty much.  The rich basically get richer while the overweight basically get more overweight and frustrated.

CPTF:  Thanks Mike.  That is some pretty eye opening stuff.  I guess what that means is I should probably drop my credit card and close the window down to the supplement website I was on while pretending to be listening to you on the phone.  Instead of clicking and purchasing I  will get myself to the grocery store and buy and then prepare my meals for the week so that I actually start doing the things that actually make people lose weight.

Myself:  Yes Clear Path to Fitness.  That is the funny thing about behaviors.  You actually have to “behave them” to make them work.

(Yes people, the key to losing weight lies in make in the right choices up there.  You are not going to find it in a aisle down here)

What is Sexy? Boy We Have Gotten Off Track.

Wall Street, Exercise and Dementia

Tip of the Day: Exercise is not just for Meatheads any more!  Recent research has shown that physical exercise of 150 minutes or more a week has a GREATER protective effect against the onset of dementia than doing Sudoko, Brain Exercises, Crosswords Puzzles etc. 

The point to take home here is that working out is no longer only an effective option just for people who want a six pack.  Staying fit is as important to enjoying ones retirement as your stock portfolio is.  

Due yourself a favor and every time you go Gordon Gekko style and put on your suspenders to check the NYSE Ticker ask yourself “Did I get my 150 in this week?”.  Remember, having money and lots of free time is great only if you are actually able to enjoy it.  

Is greed good?   How the hell should I know.  After seeing a couple close friends watch their parents slip into the horror of dementia I can tell you that it is one thing I would want to put off for a very long time.  For my sake and for theirs

Good Looking Women and Cheese Sandwiches

Tip of the Week: If you want to guarantee yourself a lifetime of poor self esteem and image issues just go up to someone with a different body type than yours and tell them "You are the goal". This happened today at the gym during a conversation between two women. 


The sad thing is the woman who said it was just as HOT as the woman she said it to, she was just built a little different. But because the other woman was "skinnier" all that got thrown out the window. 




One of the foundational keys to staying motivated to work out is to focus on consistent behaviors and feeling good. You start going around telling somebody else you want to be them and not just a better 
version of yourself is pretty much like buying a fast track ticket to nowhere.

If you want to know how HOT these women were understand they could have melted a cheese sandwich from across the room (Naked Gun). For you technical types out there we are talking about a minimum of 225 degrees. That’s boiling baby!

A special thanks goes out to someone who was instrumental in the writing of this post. However due to hotness confidentiality reasons that person must remain nameless.

Holy Smokes We Have Moved To Our New Web Page!

Hey Gang,

We are proud to announce our new company and our new web page!

Check it out!  All future blog content can be accessed from our "Articles" Page.

http://www.clearpathtofitness.com/

Thanks
Mike

(Just like George and Weezy we are "Movin on Up to the Eastside".  Come join us at www.clearpathtofitness.com as we finally get a piece of the Pie!)

The Reality of the Lean Lifestyle

Tip of the day: If you want to be ripped and promote fitness this doesn't mean chug a bottle of Johnny Walker Red and then smash your local Dunkin Doughnuts in an cheap alcohol enduced rage.
I once asked a successful bodybuilder what was his key to being lean almost year round. His answer, "I plan my day around my meals and not my meals around my day". I then asked him "What if you work full time?". His response "I work 16 hours a day running my own business, if you want your body to look a certain way then you will make the time to do it, no excuses".

Is the above lifestyle necessarily normal, natural, or easy? Probably not but it is the reality of what it takes to be in the kind of shape you think you want to be. Sometimes the principles behind being really lean are as simple (note I did not say easy) as the picture above.

Tony Robbins, Pancakes, and Self Honesty

Tip of the day: Super Guru Tony Robbins once said “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels”. He must never of had my Sunday morning Pancakes. The reality is that there are a hell of lot things that taste better than thin feels. They key isn’t to brainwash yourself into believing mistruths but instead to come to the honest realization... that while certain foods do taste great, due to their caloric density they simply cannot become part of your everyday diet if your goal is to lose weight. Hence why I call them Sunday morning pancakes and not “Pancakes for the three dozen times a week I don’t feel good about myself".

 

Please note: That is indeed a stock photo and not an actual photo of my Sunday morning pancakes. The reason why is that my Sunday morning pancakes never last long enough to actually be photographed. You would more likely see a photo of the Yetti before you glimpse an image of my floury goodness.