Hey Shank! What about STEEL CUT Oatmeal?

(Authors note:  A special thank you goes out to Strength Coach Charles Poliquin for inspiring the content of this article.)

(It comes in a metal can so therefore it must be better.)

Hey Shank!  

What do you think about STEEL CUT Oatmeal?

(Authors Note:  The emphasis on STEEL CUT in caps was placed by the person who sent the email.  I am not sure why but I have had several questions regarding this product and in most instances the person feels the need to capitalize those words.  I can only assume that one of the side effects of eating this product is that you find yourself spontaneously yelling at people about it.)

I figured I would ask because I need a good breakfast to provide some extra energy so I can find that guy who stole my pot of gold.

Signed,

The Leprechaun

(I wish this guy would just stick to playing Ewoks)

Hey Leprechaun,

I dig the socks dude!

To answer your question I think steel cut oatmeal sucks.

But not really.  I actually think steel cut oatmeal is fine.  But just fine.  I don’t think it is anything spectacular.  It certainly will not change your life or anything.

Steel cut oatmeal is a carbohydrate source just like any other carbohydrate source.  By it’s very nature it is no better than pasta, rice, potatoes or quinoa.  The advantage is that compared to most regular kinds of oatmeal it tends to be less processed.   If that is your thing and you either tolerate or actually enjoy the taste then more power to you for eating it.

I happen to find steel cut oats a pain in the ass to prepare and since the last thing I need in my life is another pain in the ass I “roll” with this guy:

(You had best recognize the original gangsta in the blue hat. )

Now I know there are people out there who will want to choke the life out of me for saying this but I really don’t care what type of oatmeal you eat.  Since oatmeal does not equal doughnuts I figure that as long as you control the portion size you will be ok:

(This is so fat and disgusting it makes me want to vomit.  Still, God forbid I got a hold of that box I would probably beat it like it owed me money.  I really like doughnuts.)

As far as the whole extra energy thing so that you can eviscerate the guy who stole your gold I will have to tell you that I think you are headed in the wrong direction.

I have looked at thousands of diets over the years and the limiting factor when it comes to breakfast is almost never a lack of carbohydrates.  Where an overwhelming majority of people tend to drop the ball is they don’t include enough protein so they wind up walking around like a carb infused zombie all day:

(For some reason I can’t see this guy being all too productive at the office.)

So what is the solution?  For smaller people include an egg or two and for larger people you can go as high as many as three or four.  If you don’t like whole eggs then you can do egg whites.  I like to mix my egg whites with some low fat cheese as I feel the fat improves the taste and gives the meal a little more staying power.

Really any type of protein will do.  I wouldn’t get my underwear in a “steel cut oatmeal” bind over the subject.  I prefer around 180 to 200 grams of salmon, beef or two scoops of protein powder mixed with a little fish oil.  I would have to imagine the reason why this works better for me is that my body tends to function better with a little more fat in my diet.

(I actually like butter but I think you get the point here.  Not all fats are bad because not all fats are created equal.)

Smaller people (I weigh around 205lbs) would do better with a little less food and bigger people would tend to do better with a little more.  You will be able to figure this out once you see how your body reacts to whatever it is you are eating.

If you are a vegetarian then I don’t know what the hell to tell you to do since I eat as much meat as my dogs do:

(Frankie and Lily are definitely not vegetarians though they do like vegetables.)

If you are a vegetarian you might be better off asking somebody who is one.  Like this guy, former Mr. Universe Bill Pearl:

(Bill Pearl at the age of 56.  He has been an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian for some time now.  You can reach him on his website www.billpearl.com)

In conclusion my little green friend, get yourself some more protein at breakfast and you will be on your way to getting back your booty in no time.

Yours in chocolate chip cookies,

Mike Cruickshank

(I can say whatever I want about Steel Cut Oatmeal but it is still a better carbohydrate choice than this crap.)