(Two things are for sure. One is that every body is indeed working for the weekend. And second, Swayze and Farley, God Rest both their souls, are freaking awesome!)
Hey Shank,
I am 6 foot 2 and weigh 220lbs with 6% bodyfat. Women want me and Men want to be me. That is no exaggeration. The other day some chick asked my Wednesday Girlfriend if I worked at Chippendales. It’s true!
Last week some guy asked my Friday Girlfriend what I did to workout since he always wanted to look just like me.
You would think that all this bathing in such a sea of awesomeness would make me the happiest guy on earth but I am not. I am actually pretty miserable most of the time. As a fellow Stud Muffin do you got any advice?
Signed,
Hunk Golden
(Ok. I admit it. I took the name from one of the most awesome but under apreciated terrible 1980′s movies of all time, that being “Hunk”. I seriously think that only myself and Gerry Herrera have ever seen this film. From what I understand even the directors mother refused to show up at the premier.)
Dear Hunk,
As a fellow Stud Muffin I do indeed feel your pain. I actually dealt with this subject somewhat briefly in one of my previous blogs titled “Fat Guys, Pancakes and The Razors Edge”:
http://www.clearpathtofitness.com/fat-guys-pancakes-and-the-razors-edge
But I would be glad to go into further discussion about it with you here. The bottom line is that when it comes to figuring out what makes them happy, people pretty much suck:
(If fame, money and good looks were all life is really about then this would have never transformed into…)
(…This guy who was found dead on the toilet.)
Take me for example. I have a bit of an ego. It is most evident when I go Matthew Mcconaughey style and mow the lawn with my shirt off:
(Think of this as a female version of me. Except my boobs are bigger and the only persons I attract are the two guys who live together at the end of the street.)
Granted I get a little of a narcisstic high from the whole thing but it doesn’t really make me happy. Here is what really makes me happy:
(This is Frankie and Lily the first day in their new house. They were so unsure of the surroundings that they walked around like this, pretty much glued together, the entire first day. The absolute connection these two share is for me a lasting high, not a temporary one.)
Here is something else that makes me happy:
(This is the animal shelter I volunteer at. Going there is better than Prozac.)
A long time ago I went your route thinking that I was basically one “P90x” moment away from being the person I always wanted to be:
(He’s not smiling like that because of the way he is built. He is smiling like that because he knows he has your money. Either that or the forearm to the head denotes the happiest migraine in the history of man kind. Oy Vey! Nobody knows how Tony Horton must suffer.)
In conclusion my dearest Hunk you need to go out and figure out what it is that makes you really happy. If you were a pure ego maniac you would not be having the empty feelings you are experiencing because looking my Mr. Infomercial above would be enough. Based on your reaction it obviously isn’t. A good place to start when finding your passions would be to start with activities that tend to “pull you out of your own ass” so to speak. Basically anything with the word shelter attached to it is a good place to start. Think “Animal, Battered Women, Run Away Teen, Homeless” versus “Tax” and you will find people and places who need your time and money more than the bar at Applebee’s:
(I have been out of the “game” for so long I can’t even remember where people go to get picked up. It really can’t be this place…can it?)
Try to remember that real wellness goes beyond just looking good. It is about being happy with who you are and figuring out what your true passions are. Unfortunately that is a little more complicated than just banging out some bench presses.
But then again what the hell do I know.
Till next time.
Yours in Chocolate Chip Cookies,
Mike Cruickshank
(Just so we are being completely honest here we need to quote the great actor Joe Pesci who once said “Money may not buy you happiness but at least you can pick your own misery”. Supposedly the couple above actually have a lot in common. They both like soup.)
(That last part above was obviously a “Best in Show” quote. You may recognize these two as the founders and editors of “Bitch” magazine.)
No comments:
Post a Comment